Well, I seem to be experiencing some sort of artistic block. It has happened to me many times before, for various. This time, it was triggered by listening to “What happens when you only pursue pleasure” by Alan Watts. In the concluding part he says “Why don’t you know what you really want? 2 reasons,” he continues. “Reason 1: You have it. Reason 2: You don’t know yourself…cause you never can.” There is more to it than this but, nonetheless, it created the block. I started thinking that 100 years from now, no one will know my existence or what I did. So what is the point of all of this?

I do many different things for money. One of them is house painting. I started a new house painting job around this time. I work with a few of the same people, and we usually sit around on the floor and have lunch break. I started questioning them about why we do things despite of 100 years from now, we will be all forgotten. One of a guy said that “We are all trying to pass on the best ideas and behavior to our children.”…that started triggering me out of the block. I interpreted it as we are part of nature and each generations are the process of evolution of the species. What I do with my paintings are the part of the progress. We make tiny ripples in evolution when we make billions upon billions attempts to be better. Of course, this can easily digress as well.

So I started looking at this as being part of nature. My egotistic view got in the way of contributing even slightest progress. Also: I need to go deeper and find the way to be as honest as I can be in my art. Now I feel so much better about it.

I recommend cherishing everyone who enters your life for one reason or other. I think our evolution happens by talking to one and other.